When Life Gives You Lemons

I am not very good at journaling so I haven't written about my family's experience with job searching.  I want to write down my thoughts and here seemed an easy place where I could read it again later.  For the past year Greg has been searching for an entry level mechanical engineering job.  He tried a semester of Graduate school but with budget cuts the classes he wanted to take were no available, the professor in the area he wanted left and it just didn't seem worth the student loans for something he would not enjoy.  Fortunately I had my TA job from January-May and then September-December and Greg worked with facilities on campus from April- November so we could pay the bills and have some money to do fun things but of coarse we were stressed out about finding Greg a real job, a career, something he would enjoy doing.  Greg has had several interviews in the past year but no luck (obviously).  It has been quite the experience and I just wanted to share what we have all learned this past year.  From January to April I was SO stressed out, I didn't feel like Greg was doing enough to apply to jobs and I was always nagging him to be doing stuff.  Needless to day it wasn't very much fine.  Sometime in May I finally realized Greg's job search is up to him, I cannot be in charge (which is what I had been trying to do). I told him I was willing to help with whatever he needed help with and most importantly I realized the Lord knows what we need to do and where we need to be, we just have to be patient.  Since then the Lord has blessed us in so many ways.  I have come to realize there is not a lot I need in this world to make me happy.  Sure there is a lot of stuff I would like but to be happy I do not need it.  I have found such joy in raising and just being with my little family.  I realized I just want to be able to provide a stable, nurturing atmosphere where the gospel and learning and laughing and loving are what we do.  I have realized that by following the Lord's simple commandments I have more joy then I know what to do with!  I started a gratitude journal and by doing so have realized how many amazing blessings the Lord has given me, I have never felt happier before in my life then I do right now!  There are three specific experiances I want to share related to our job search.

In September I was stressing about what happens if Greg never finds a job and I have to go to work everyday and leave my babies at home to provide for my family.  What is it takes another year to find a job how are we going to provide for ourselves, etc.  On Sunday I was sitting on the couch in the foyer during sacrement (we just cannot be on time to church lately!) and I was stressing about my families situation when the phrase "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it" came into my mind.  I know that was Heavenly Father speaking to me, telling me everything would be fine, just have some faith and a little patience and I have something great instore for your family.  I just hold that promise for the Lord in my heart and just let him guide us as we look for a job and go about taking are of our family.  Since then I have not worried about the future, we will be provided for in some way as long as we just keep following the course He has for us.

The second experiance came when Greg and I were reading Elder W. Christopher Waddell's talk from Conference "The Oportunity of a Lifetime"  The talk is about serving missions and about an elder from Spain who was called to serve in Arizona he didn't know why he was sent to Arizona because most forgin missionaries are called to serve in their own countries.  He came to realize the Lord knows excatly where everyone needs to be.  This missionary was able to meet the man who baptized his father in Spain and able to show this man that he had been a wonderful missionary (the man all these years had thought his mission a failure because he only baptized on man).  From this talk the Lord told me that he know where my family needs to be and that is in Mendon with my family.  We have been living with my mom and sister for a year and a half and we are so grateful that we can do so.  There is no way we could afford to live on our own and I wouldn't have been able to continue my masters degree without my mom to watch the baby.  This whole time though I have wanted to live on my own.  I am a adult, I want to be self suffient etc.  I feel like people look down on me when they know I moved back home but after this talk I know this is where the Lord needs us to be.  He needs us to be here so my parents can help us survive and we need to be here to help my mom and sister while my dad serves in DC and Afghanistan.  I am at peace now with living back at home.

My third experience came while reading "Waiting upon the Lord: Thy Will Be Done" by Elder Robert D. Hales from conference.  By turning our selves over to the Lord and waiting for the right time and season for everything we can receive so many blessings.  The talk made me realize that since I turned myself over completely after that experience in September the Lord has blessed us in SO many ways.  Greg and I have never been closer, I feel such a strong love for him.  I find myself filled with so much joy I feel like I am going to burst.  Emmett and Cyris bring so much love a fulfillment to my life, I have the desire to sever the Lord and to follow his commandments with renewed conviction, and I KNOW that we will find a job, the Lord will bless us with a way to provide for our family.  

Life usually doesn't turned out how you planned it and it is better that it doesn't because the Lord has a plan in store for each of us and while we have to pass through trials, we come out of them a stronger, happier, more faithful person.

Here are my 3 favorite pictures we had taken in October.  I just love my family!